<![CDATA[<body><script type="text/javascript">
function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) {
if(window.addEventListener) {
window.addEventListener('load',
function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false);
} else {
window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; });
}
}
</script>
<div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div>
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script>
<script type="text/javascript">
gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() {
if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) {
gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({
url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/17336113?origin\x3dhttp://ilovetowave-.blogspot.com',
where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"),
id: "navbar-iframe"
});
}
});
</script>]]>
Francine Caitlyn Chye
a.k.a. Hurricaine Fran
a.k.a. Fran the PCD
a.k.a. the happy bunny :D
<3
040889 (August baby!)
Crescent, ACJC, hocker
xoxo
If it's meant to be, it'll be(:
"And sometimes good things fall apart
so better things can fall together"
don't think, just run
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Got back from trning at about 930pm tonight... It was really nice tonight. Usually i don't say that about school trnings but tonight was good. I think i'm mentally and physically exhausted but ironically i think trning was exactly what i needed-to push myself, to pant, to need to go harder, faster, more more, more. I don't know. The Hockey High, i call it. I need it. Everytime i come back from playing, it just reminds me again and again why i keep coming back for more. I'm not the best, doubt i'm close but damn, to be in control, just for a while or to have a goal-literally-, an aim, a reason to want to run til breathlessness makes it impossible... Adrenaline. I love. Addictive, very.
I love the nights,
the stars,
the grass, track, the lights.
The wind.
There's so much i want to accomplish but time is the limiting factor in this case, as is energy, surprisingly. Sometimes i just wanna give up everything, just let myself fall down, down down, down. I wanna be caught right there at the bottom, i wanna be held, i wanna be needed. I want to be able to need again but that's my weakness and i don't wanna go back to a time when i cried. Finally free but when my mind wanders as it tends to do... Cravings. I know He's there for me but why do i still feel like i'm blinding grabbing at empty spaces, merely at the air above, around, below, beside? I wanna be right back up there, i want to let my faith take me higher. So please tell me why i feel so empty.
I think i just feel stupid for thinking that i wouldn't get emotionally attached. I don't know what i want and it's scaring me. We were so clear when we said what we said but at times i just wanna run into your arms and just.. just feel. I know what we agreed on and no doubt it's for the best but how can i stop my eyes from searching for familiarity, for some sort or recognition or reassurance? I want you to need me in the same way that i grudgingly find myself needing you at times but it's not something i'm proud to admit. I don't want to be back to the beginning for me, i don't wanna fall. And knowing that it's just a meaningless infatuation jsut makes it that much worse. Grr,
I miss my friends. So, so, so much.
Love you all.
Mwahh.
-hugs.
ex-oh, ex-oh
3:29 AM
